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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450280">The Tuesday Incident</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumira33/pseuds/kumira33'>kumira33</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A Konohagakure PD AU, A(IRL)CAB, Family, Friendship, Gen, Inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Kakashi is Just Trying, Multi, Naruto Has Wholesome Daddy Issues, Not Police Propaganda, Obito Believes in Radical Community Policing, Sasuke and Sakura are a Hot Ass Couple, There are Rescue Dogs Too</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:28:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumira33/pseuds/kumira33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke leans against Sakura’s desk and sips his own coffee (black), seeming to perk up as only he can, i.e. a miniscule amount. “Is this about how Naruto activated the fire sprinkler system in Kakashi’s office and ruined his porn collection?”</p><p>(Or, Kakashi-taichō is unusually, visibly upset about something. His subordinates at the 7th precinct are determined to find out why.)</p><p>A Konohagakure PD AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dai-nana-han | Team 7 &amp; Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Mikoto &amp; Uzumaki Kushina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Middle-Aged Men Who Raise Dogs Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic was conceptualized and mostly written before the recent wave of protests against the police and other forms of state violence. I started watching Brooklyn 99 as a way to pass time at the very beginning of quarantine, and while it's superficially lighthearted and funny, I do agree that it plays a role as police propaganda. I've mostly used the show in this fic as a way to organize my ideas, but I want to be clear in saying that police IRL and the police as depicted in this story are two separate entities in terms of origin, intention and action.</p><p>While I borrow terminology/a little bit of plot from Brooklyn 99 for AU world building purposes, the socio-economic power structures within Konohagakure that will be portrayed in this story are modeled after Kishimoto's manga and NOT any real or existing police department. The portrayal of beloved characters as police officers in this fic does not represent my feelings about real world police in the slightest.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey! Sakura-chan!”</p><p>Haruno Sakura doesn’t look up from the monstrous book on her not unusually cluttered desk, though her voice is unerringly professional when she replies, “good morning, Detective Uzumaki.”</p><p>Naruto has had enough experience with his childhood friend’s temper to understand this as a fair warning to remove himself from the range of her fists for all but the most urgent of reasons, but <em>obviously</em>, this is one.</p><p>It’s now happened four bizarre mornings in a row, and he just <em>can’t</em> sit back and allow it to continue.</p><p>Still, he tries to keep his voice at an inoffensive volume when he asks, “what’s going on with Kakashi-sensei? Has he told you anything? Is he okay? Is he angry?”</p><p>Sakura continues writing in her neat, tiny print on an already crammed sheet of light green paper. The few words he can make out from his position in front of her desk are as good as foreign, though obviously written in Japanese, and it's with a sudden chill that he remembers her recently mentioning having to study for an important exam as a part of her apprenticeship. Sakura can be violent enough without any added stress, never mind <em>exam</em> stress, but… this <em>genuinely is </em>an emergency.</p><p>(He can see Kakashi-sensei marking mission reports in his office with an eerie, single-minded focus out of the corner of his eye. As in, <em>doing</em> <em>actual paperwork</em>, in the <em>morning</em>, before they’re even on the clock! A bead of cold sweat rolls down his temple and he shudders.)</p><p>“…hey, did you hear what-ACK!”</p><p>He yelps as Sakura throws her pen at his face. It hits him squarely on the nose, and she leans back in her chair to glower up at him with full force. “You couldn’t just leave well enough alone and let me focus on my reading in peace, could you Naruto? FINE. Okay. Yes, something is obviously bothering Taichō. He’s been coming into work early and has been doing all his own paperwork by himself. Yes, it’s worrying, in context, but has also been kind of great. For me.”</p><p>A delicate voice interrupts their conversation from closer than he’d realized anyone else was standing, and he only barely manages to disguise his startled jump as an odd sneeze.</p><p>“S-sorry, I-I couldn’t help but overhear, but I a-also noticed that he’s been acting a little strange. D-do you maybe think that Taichō is just showing consideration for you, Sakura-chan? S-since you have an important exam coming soon?”</p><p>He can’t help his easy grin when he turns his head to make eye-contact with the pretty detective behind him, who leans away and blushes deeply in turn. She’s truly, ridiculously cute when embarrassed and delightfully easy to fluster. She reminds him of Mikoto-kaa-san’s luminous moonflowers in that way, which he’s only ever been able to catch rare glimpses of in bloom. Sasuke’s mother often teases that it’s because he’s too sunny in disposition and appearance, and that the pale flowers feel shy when they see him.</p><p>It’s still strange to think of cute little Hinata running after a perp, but then, he hasn’t been partnered with her yet. Sasuke tells him that she’s serious on the field and reliable to work with, and he knows better than to underestimate another detective, but he’s curious to see her in action himself.</p><p>As if summoned (they were like that sometimes), Sasuke brushes past them to gently place a steaming takeaway cup of coffee on Sakura’s desk. Naruto knows without looking that it contains Sakura’s current favorite sweet latte made to perfection, and that the teme’s usually sharp eyes are almost equally as honeyed for just a couple seconds.</p><p>“Thank you Sasuke-kun,” Sakura murmurs, smiling sweetly at her boyfriend before turning back to Hinata and sighing into her sugary hot drink. “Sweet, sweet Hinata-chan, the world would be a better place if that were true. Unfortunately, it is not, and Kakashi-sensei is definitely just in a... mood.”</p><p>Sasuke leans against Sakura’s desk and sips his own coffee (black), seeming to perk up as only he can, i.e. a miniscule amount. “Is this about how Naruto activated the fire sprinkler system in Kakashi’s office and ruined his porn collection?”</p><p>“WHAT?”</p><p>Several others in the bullpen turn to look at them judgmentally, including the single person in their holding cell (<em>really</em>?), and even sweet Hinata frowns. Sasuke smirks, betraying his traitorous heart, but speaks in his usual deadpan when he clarifies, “it happened on Tuesday, while you were on your shift at the hospital, but it’s strange that Kakashi didn’t mention anything to you later. It might just have been that he didn’t want to make the usuratonkachi look even more pathetic than usual by talking about yet another failed pran- “</p><p>“-NOT FAILED! It MAY have taken an unexpected turn in the end, but it was still very successful, just like all my other pranks have been! And anyway, I pull pranks all the time ‘ttebayo! With finesse! Excellent, successful pranks! Kakashi-sensei endures them with fatherly affection- stop smirking bastard– and he’s never reacted like this before. Why would something like that suddenly make him upset?</p><p>“Because, you idiot,” Sakura huffs as she twirls another pen between her fingers threateningly, “you ruined his precious <em>Icha Icha</em> novels this time! I haven’t seen him read one since Tuesday and, <em>coincidentally</em>, that’s when he started doing his own paperwork! Which, again, is great for me at the moment, but has also never happened before! He loves those stupid books more than life itself! He would obviously be upset if something happened to them!”</p><p>He subtly eyes the refrigerator in the corner, trying to remember where he’d last seen the cold packs. Sakura has a frightening amount of arm strength for her build.</p><p>“Come on guys, he definitely has multiple copies of those trashy books. It’s not like he can’t get more copies whenever he wants either, they’re Ero-Sennin’s best sellers! They’re not even expensive. There’s no way that’s it!”</p><p>Hinata, angel that she is, nods encouragingly and taps her full lower lip. “They are paperback books, and given how often he reads them, the binding probably falls apart all the time. So, Naruto-kun is right in that it would make more sense for him to have multiple copies…”</p><p>Sasuke, who is decidedly not an angel however, raises an infuriatingly perfect eye-brow in a characteristic show of betrayal. “What if they had sentimental value to him? They could have been signed or gifted.”</p><p>It would be an annoyingly workable theory, except, “there’s no way that would he keep something that valuable here when we have criminals coming in and out all the time. Also, more importantly, I came in early on Tuesday to – uh, get a head start on some paperwork - and he was already here! Working! Before the small and not out-of-the-ordinary incident that you brought up! So, it has to have been something else.”</p><p>Naruto had come in early because he’d run out of his favorite flavor of instant cup ramen at home, actually, but it wasn’t necessary to disclose that information in front Hinata-chan.</p><p>He avoids looking directly at Sasuke’s dubious expression just to be safe.</p><p>Sakura hums, irritation finally fading into something more thoughtful, “well that is certainly unusual. If that’s true, then I have no idea what the problem is. Sorry, Naruto. He hasn’t mentioned anything to me. In fact, he’s barely spoken to me at all since Tuesday, which has also been weird.”</p><p>“Y-you have an idea of what it might be, though, right Naruto-kun? You have that look on your face, the one you get when you think you have a lead.” Hinata, still blushing, smiles more confidently than before, and Naruto feels his ears warming response, “wha- really, I have lead face?”</p><p>No one had ever mentioned it to him before! He wonders if it’s devilish and piercing like Sasuke’s? Or cool and calculating like Kakashi-sensei’s? Maybe even just plain scary, like Yamato-gunshō’s?</p><p>“Hn. Your face looks look especially stupid when you think you have a lead, and you’re right Hinata, it does, so he does. Go on, dobe.”</p><p>Naruto glares, but there are barely visible traces of affection on Sasuke’s otherwise impassive face, so he just settles on rolling his eyes in retaliation.</p><p>“That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you, Sakura-chan! Since Kakashi-sensei was in a bad mood so early at work on Tuesday, my theory is that whatever caused his mood happened before that-</p><p>“Genius.”</p><p>“-shut up teme, so I was thinking we should interview his boyfriend to see if anything out of the ordinary happened at home on Monday night or Tuesday morning! My guess is that they probably had a big fight or something, since Kakashi-sensei’s never like this about work. If we can figure out what the problem is, we can help them and get things back to normal at work too! So what d’ya think, will you help?”</p><p>Sakura’s face is worryingly expressionless, although her eye twitches a couple times before she responds. "First of all, idiot, you can’t refer to Obito-sama like that, okay? He’s a Deputy Commissioner, the head of a Bureau! You also can’t just assume things about peoples’ personal relationships, and <em>especially</em> about your superiors’ personal relationships. It’s intrusive and rude and can cause all sorts of professional <em>and</em> personal misunderstandings. I know we’ve known Kakashi-sensei for a long time, bu- oh Sai! Good morning! Working already?”</p><p>The three detectives glance away from Sakura to see Sai standing a couple feet away, scribbling furiously in his ever-present notepad. Based on Naruto’s limited experience, he can guess that his new partner is either working on one of his drawings, which are always cool, or adding to his weird collection of resocialization notes, which are never cool at all.</p><p>Sai lifts his pen and flashes his odd fake smile at them in greeting, “good morning Ugly, Dickless, Rosy, Traitor-kun. Please continue with your conversation about how to identify if someone is gay. I am diligently taking notes and will do my best to implement your valuable guidance correctly.”</p><p>As a part of his resocialization training after a concerningly impactful stint as an ANBU special agent, Sai had apparently read that the use of nicknames would help him “establish the intimate emotional connections necessary to building genuine friendships.” Sasuke’s nickname was contrived from one of Naruto and Sasuke’s petty fights, and seeing the (actually) deeply loyal Sasuke annoyed about it for an entire month had been worth having to also hear Sai explain that he’d chosen to use the word affectionately because he had felt like it was said by Naruto in a bout of passionate love.</p><p>Dickless was his creative interpretation of Sasuke’s “usuratonkachi,” which also obviously held the connotation of profound love because it was only used in a similar context.</p><p>Obviously.</p><p>That's the story that Naruto's sticking with.</p><p>Anyway, they’ve probably been bad influences. Only Hinata had managed to earn an appropriately cute nickname, most likely because it's just impossible to say anything mean to her adorable face, even unintentionally.</p><p>To Sakura’s credit, though, her smile only shutters for a second. She’s abnormally nice to the new detective in spite of his misguided insults, and while she claims that this is because she’s a trainee medic who can only have compassion for someone suffering so clearly from extreme psychological trauma, Naruto secretly thinks that it might also be because Sai looks kind of like Sasuke.</p><p>“Actually, Sai, we were talking about how it is always <em>absolutely inappropriate to make inferences or assumptions about someone’s sexual orientation</em>, especially in a workplace setting. And even if O- an employee <em>was</em> open about the nature of their personal relationship to another employee-</p><p>“Like you and Traitor-kun?”</p><p>Sakura still blushes like she did when people spoke to her about Sasuke when they were kids, and it always makes Naruto laugh. He grins conspiratorially at Sasuke, who raises an amused eyebrow in response and hides his tiny smile behind his coffee cup.</p><p>“Uh I- well, yes like me and Sasuke-kun. Right, uh so, even if two employees are known to be in a r-romantic relationship, you should absolutely avoid referring to one of them as simply the other’s ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’. Especially <em>if they happen to be the Deputy Commissioner of an important police bureau, Naruto</em>. It’s extremely disrespectful to do so and is also depersonalizing. That’s all. Was that helpful, Sai?”</p><p>“Yes, I think so. Thank you, Ugly.”</p><p>“…You’re welcome.”</p><p>They’ve only been partners for three months so far, but Naruto already knows Sai well enough to anticipate that there’s no way he’ll actually <em>stay</em> satisfied with Sakura’s textbook recitation, and so he already has his best movie detective voice prepared when Sai frowns at his notes for a few seconds before making (still slightly creepy, but they would work on that) eye-contact with him and asking, “but why <em>do </em>you think that Kakashi-taichō and the Deputy Commissioner of Collaborative Policing are in a romantic relationship, Dickless?”</p><p>“Well, Sai, it’s elementary,” he replies, ignoring the sound of Sakura’s half-empty coffee cup crinkling slightly under the force of her barely restrained anger, “They’re two middle-aged men-“</p><p>“They’re thirty-five!”</p><p>“-who live together-“</p><p>“Don’t you and Traitor-kun also live together?”</p><p>“huh- we do, but we’re not old, and we grew up together. It’s totally different. Plus, and this the most damning evidence, they raise rescue dogs together!”</p><p>“I see, so raising dogs is gay. Does that mean that all of the K9 officers are also gay? Interesting.”</p><p>“Eh? No, no Sai, raising dogs isn’t always a sign of being gay. But gay couples often adopt and raise dogs together instead of having children. Uh, but so do straight couples, I guess. Gay couples can always adopt actual human children too, and even use other methods to have biological children, but it might be that they’re not ready to take that step yet. Or that they never will be! You see.” And right on cue, he strokes his chin as Sai nods in profound understanding.</p><p>His lead face definitely <em>is</em> cool and Sasuke can suck it.</p><p>“You idiot.” Sakura crushes her coffee cup, now empty due to the speed of her rage-influenced drinking, completely. It’s a disturbingly effortless action. Naruto keeps the hand on his chin in place and at the ready to deflect any possible incoming projectiles. “Stop trying to infect Sai with your nonsense! Your theory is ridiculous and offensive and would never be workable evidence if this was a real case. Also, have you forgotten that you and Sasuke-kun also rescued, and are raising, Kurama together?”</p><p>“What? We may have found Kurama while we were doing wilderness survival training together at the Academy, and he may only really listen to Sasuke when he’s misbehaving because- let’s face it- Teme’s scarier, but I have primary custody 'ttebayo! It says so on his registration papers and everything! Sasuke’s name is only on there as an emergency contact! Right, Teme?”</p><p>Sasuke, who’d lost interest in the conversation around the time that Naruto started monologuing, grunts noncommittally at the open case file in his hand.</p><p>“So they’re co-parenting” Sai mumbles to his notepad, writing diligently as always.</p><p>“H-</p><p>“Moving on,” Sakura sends him a sharp smile in warning, “that brings me to point two. You’ve known Obito-sama since you were a child. Why would you need me to help you speak with him?”</p><p>Ah. Well.</p><p>Naruto scratches at one of the whisker-like birthmarks on his cheek. Obito is a weird subject for him. People have remarked on their similarities for as long as he can remember, and as Sasuke’s cousin and his own late father’s former student, he’d always hoped that they would be close. But, “he’s always been kind of awkward and distant with me, honestly.”</p><p>Sakura only looks curious now, “wouldn’t Sasuke-kun be the more obvious choice to help, then?”</p><p>Sasuke snaps his file closed and leans sideways to glance at Sakura’s watch even though the bullpen’s giant clock would have already been in his eyeline. The <em>poser</em>.</p><p>“No. He’s awkward with me as well, and we’re also now officially on the clock. Hinata and I will be busy tailing a potentially important lead today, but good luck you two.” He carefully pats Sakura’s head once and then picks up her crumpled coffee cup. “Let me know if anything interesting happens,” or <em>I better not hear that you put Sakura in danger</em>, <em>dumbass</em>, and with a nod at Hinata, he's gone.</p><p>Hinata beams at them, only turning slightly more red as she adds “I-I know that you’ll figure it out, Naruto-kun, you’ve always had excellent instincts” before hurrying after her partner.</p><p>He’s blushing at the sweet complement when Sai glances at the clock and smiles his odd smile at Naruto as well. “It is true that we are supposed to be turned on now, Dickless. I will be awaiting you at our designated area.”</p><p>“Our desks, Sai, you can just say our desks! Also, that’s NOT how the phrase ‘turned on’ - and he’s gone.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>Sakura is still staring after her boyfriend. Naruto smiles slyly and flicks her forehead, just a little too hard to be considered truly gentle. “Really, Sakura-chan? Teme does that every day.”</p><p>Her cheeks are same shade as her hair as she slaps his finger away. “Shut up, Naruto. I was just thinking-</p><p><em>Heh.</em> “About his butt?”</p><p>“No! What-why, were <em>you</em> thinking about his butt?”</p><p>“What? No, why would <em>I</em>-“</p><p>“You brought it up, and you <em>are</em> raising a dog together. Should I be worried?”</p><p>“Sakura-chan! How could you? He loves you!”</p><p>She laughs before flashing him a consoling, if cheeky smile, “I was just thinking about what Sasuke-kun said about Obito-sama. It’s odd. I could have sworn that I’d heard Itachi-nii-san say that Obito-sama likes to coddle Sasuke-kun, and you know, that’s coming from Itachi-nii-san.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, that’s <em>why</em> the teme’s awkward with him. He always ruffles his hair. He even-” Naruto glances around to check that they’re not being overheard before lowering his voice and continuing conspiratorially, “he <em>even</em> used to <em>pinch his cheeks</em>.”</p><p>Sakura green eyes nearly sparkle with delight as she asks, “<em>really?</em>” But her expression suddenly closes, then, before becoming suspicious. “Uzumaki Naruto, are you trying to bribe me with adorable early childhood stories about my boyfriend?”</p><p>“…Is it working?”</p><p>“A little bit.” She looks contemplative, “but why do you even think that I would be of any help? I’ve only met him a few times, I doubt that any awkwardness you may feel is actually worse than not really knowing him at all.”</p><p>He should have known that Sakura, impressively analytic as she was, would put the reality of his non-relationship with his kind-of idol in more brutal terms than he could have ever come up with himself.</p><p>“Uh, it sort of is. Sasuke likes to say that it must be like looking at a doppelganger, for him, and that he probably just doesn’t want to accidentally kill me in a fit of horror induced violence. <em>Ha ha.</em> But he’s obviously just trying to make me laugh about it, I don’t know.” Sakura’s still smiling as she hums in response, but her expression is too close to sad, so he rushes to move on, “but I know for sure that he’s super comfortable with you because he even calls you Sakura-chan! And you visit their house to drop off and pick up paperwork all the time! You’re Kakashi-taichō’s assistant, so you’d have more reason to interact with him professionally than any of us. I also have a personal theory that you remind him of Rin-san. You know, our OPP? You look a little alike. They’ve been friends for even longer than he and Kakashi-sensei have known each other, apparently, though she’s obviously also close with Taichō. Our team at the Academy was always compared to theirs too, remember?” He grins, “the genius, the medic and the Uchiha.”</p><p>Sakura rolls her eyes and sighs, long suffering. “Rin-sensei also helps manage the EMTs. I see her pretty regularly at the hospital. She’s very respected in our field, and actually,” it’s Sakura’s turn to look conspiratorial, and he leans forward to hear what she says next more clearly, “that’s kind of also why I didn’t want you yelling to the bullpen about Obito-sama and Kakashi-taichō’s supposed relationship. I was under the impression that Rin-sensei and Obito-sama were the item, based on what I’d heard, I mean.”</p><p>Naruto reels back in shock. “WHA- I mean, what? Stop glaring, this is me whispering! But what? They’re not the ones who live and raise dogs together?”</p><p>“Do you even hear yourself, baka?” Sakura sighs, “think through your theory again.”</p><p>“…hey, leave Kurama out of this! It’s a whole different thing, they’re raising a whole pack of dogs together! They even dress them up in bandanas and other cute outfits! Kurama just has a cool, manly leather collar! And <em>your boyfriend</em> is the one who bought it for him, so!”</p><p>Sakura cuts her eyes at a few curious uniformed officers until they look away before sighing yet again, “those outfits are to help with stress, Naruto, they’re all last chance rescues. A lot of them were abused previously, the shirts make them feel secure. It’s actually really sweet, what they do. And anyway, I still need to study.”</p><p>As if he’d believe <em>that.</em> “You make your study plan weeks in advance, and you’re definitely way ahead of schedule right now because Kakashi-sensei hasn’t been shoving all of his work on you for the past couple days like you would have accounted for.”</p><p>“But don’t <em>you</em> have actual work to do today, huh? Sai is turned on and waiting at your designated location, remember?” </p><p>“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that last sentence, Sakura-san,” says an eerie voice from, again, just behind him, “but yes Naruto, <em>don’t you</em> <em>have actual work to do</em>?”</p><p>Naruto actually jumps this time and bumps his hip into Sakura’s desk in his effort to create as much distance between himself and their new sergeant as he possibly can. Yamato-gunshō may be smaller than him in stature (and surprisingly susceptible to being teased about it), but his face can be creepy as hell, and he’s more than willing to lead with fear when necessary.</p><p>He wonders, not for the first time, if the creepiness was some weird technique they taught you in ANBU. In case you ever had to face a perp or whoever it was that the ANBU fought without a weapon, or something. Kakashi could do it too.</p><p>“A-actually, Yamato-gunshō, I’d like to request your approval to go on a special mission with Sakura-chan.”</p><p>Yamato’s face only gets scarier, “may I remind you, Detective Uzumaki, that while Sakura-san may have only recently been a detective at this precinct, her current status as Kakashi-taichō’s assistant and an apprentice-forensic pathologist is effectively that of a civilian. You know that I cannot allow you take her along on a case. It’s not safe, and it’s against the rules.”</p><p><em>Ah, thanks for your help, Yamato-gunshō</em>.</p><p>“You know that rule is bullshit, Gunshō,” Sakura argues, standing abruptly to make more direct eye-contact with the subject of her righteous ire, “not being an active detective shouldn’t mean that I’m not one at all. I still participate in and pass all of the regular monthly active-duty drills. I’m still studying to work in the force, with other detectives, through medical jurisprudence. I should be allowed to do more than just Kakashi-taichō’s paperwork. I’m not a civilian assistant.”</p><p>And though Naruto still holds his breath on behalf of his feisty friend, he feels victorious when Yamato-gunshō’s scary face finally relaxes. Their sergeant sighs.</p><p>“I’m not the one who makes the rules, Sakura, you know that. I’m sorry. You both have plenty of work to do already.”</p><p>That’s his cue. “Actually, Gunshō, Sakura-chan doesn’t have any work to do at all! That’s the issue we want to follow up on. Haven’t you noticed that Kakashi-taichō’s been holed up on his office since Tuesday? <em>Doing his own paperwork?</em>”</p><p>Yamato frowns, “I have, but-“</p><p>“He’s been coming in early too! Like way earlier than the rest of us! There’s clearly something very wrong.”</p><p>“I… thought that his productivity had just increased because you ruined his <em>Icha Icha</em> novels by activating the sprinklers in his office. Didn’t that happen on Tuesday?”</p><p>Naruto avoids Sakura’s undoubtedly pointed stare and calls upon his most serious mission voice. “I have reason to believe that something significant happened to Taichō before the small and not at all out-of-the-ordinary incident that you are referring to, Yamato-gunshō. With your permission, and Sakura’s help as his assistant, as well as a frankly excellent detective, I would like to investigate further. We’re worried, and we’ve known Kakashi-taichō for a long time. Have <em>you</em> ever seen him like this before?”</p><p>Yamato turns his head slightly, and Naruto knows that he's looking at Kakashi’s exhausted, oddly-serious profile. “…Yes, I have.”</p><p>
  <em>Huh?</em>
</p><p>“…And you’re right, it does appear as if something significant occurred. As your Gunshō, I appreciate that you are so concerned about your colleagues.”</p><p>
  <em>And?</em>
</p><p>“I… will work the case I was going to assign to you with Sai myself, today.”</p><p>
  <em>Yes!</em>
</p><p>“I’m giving you ONE DAY to work this personal mission of yours. Just <em>one</em>, regardless of the results. Understand, Detectives?”</p><p>“Hai, Yamato-gunshō!” Naruto and Sakura shout their affirmation at their sergeant’s back and only manage to wait until he’s two desks away before turning their grins at one another.</p><p>There’s an excited, almost devious, gleam in Sakura’s eyes that he hasn’t seen at work for a long time. Her lead face, he realizes. It’s mischievous, bratty even, and very intimidating.</p><p>His friends really are kind of perfect for one another. He smiles brighter.</p><p>“Yosh! To the Bureau of Contraceptive Policing!”</p><p>“SHANNA- wait-what did you just say?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This fic manifested in mostly Naruto's point of view, for whatever reason, so the narrative style is obligatorily a little silly. There will be at least one other narrative voice, though, because I tend to be more introspective than he is.<br/>Also, canon Sasuke IS loyal, even in Part II. Just not to Konoha for a bit, which is understandable, considering.</p><p>I haven't written fiction in a long time, but I'm actually having more fun with it than I expected to, and I've completed the majority of this story. Updates will most likely be weekly at the latest. This is my first time posting on this site, so please bare with me while I tweak this chapter in little ways over the next week or so!</p><p>Thank you for reading! Reviews are always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It's Worse Than They'd Thought</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Naruto and Sakura visit the Bureau of Contra- I mean, Collaborative Policing. It's not what they expect.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Naruto presses his back into the passenger seat of Sakura’s cherry-red compact and breathes slowly through his nose, in the way that he’d noticed Sasuke (discreetly) doing before their detective exam. He’d thought it a little silly back then, mostly because his best friend had consistently been at the top of their class through every stage of their education, but he’d also understood that being the second son of the Chief of Police brought its own pressures.</p><p>Maybe being the only son of the youngest ever Commissioner of the Konohagakure Police Department should have been a pressurizing incentive on Naruto as well, but he'd never gotten the chance to know his father, or his mother for that matter. He’s never been one to linger on what-could-have-beens either, but he wonders now if the butterflies currently swarming in his stomach might be comparable to what Sasuke felt back then. This fear of becoming a disappointment, or worse, the possibility of continuing to be one.</p><p>Uchiha Obito is his father’s most successful student and was, according to some, his mother’s favorite rookie as well. The media often touts him as Minato’s second coming, but people close to Obito have always told Naruto that the two of <em>them</em> are far more similar. Even Kakashi-sensei had remarked on it when he’d first reviewed Naruto’s progress at the Academy, and it’s the most glowing complement he personally thinks he’s ever received. He knows that his father was a natural prodigy, and while Naruto is decidedly <em>not</em>, having his own hard-wrought successes compared positively to his father’s best student’s trajectory is as much as he could hope for. </p><p>And so, while Naruto is no stranger to rejection or disappointment, something about the older man’s distant and careful politeness has always been uniquely hurtful.  </p><p>But, he reminds himself, he's an adult now. He's been blessed with a large and loving chosen family of which their Taichō is an irreplaceable member, and he refuses to allow his loved ones to suffer alone in silence. That’s why he’s here today, doing Sasuke’s secret breathing exercises in Sakura’s modest but comfortable car as they sit outside of the Bureau of <em>Collaborative</em> Policing together. </p><p>Sakura fluffs her bangs and wiggles her nose in the mirror, as if trying to ensure that nothing embarrassing is hiding on her small face.</p><p>“D’you remember the plan, Sakura-chan?”</p><p>She lifts her chin and turns it from one side to the other. “Of course, baka, when have I ever forgotten anything important?” Seemingly satisfied, she snaps the sun visor shut and takes her key out of the ignition. Turning to look at him, she smiles, “but be honest, did you really think that this place was called the Bureau of <em>Contraceptive</em> Policing?”</p><p>“I didn’t think it was contraceptive like birth control contraceptives! I thought it meant… like, stopping unwanted things from happening… by working with the community? I totally know what they do here! And I mean, the bureau is kind of involved in public health, right? Or-” He sees Sakura’s smile growing distinctly gleeful out of the corner of his eye and pouts, “anyway, I already admitted that <em>collaborative</em> makes a lot more sense, so can we please move on and actually start implementing the plan?”</p><p>Sakura’s grin doesn’t waver as she leans over and musses his blond hair before opening the door on her side.</p><p>“Stop worrying so much, kiddo. Detective Haruno is on the case with you today! You’ll be fine.”</p><p>He exhales one final, 8-count breath before following her out of the car.</p><p>“You’re only older by seven months!”  <br/><br/></p><hr/><p><br/>Naruto adjusts his black and orange windbreaker for maybe the ninth time, conscious of its rustling in the spacious elevator.</p><p>(“Hey Sakura-chan, do you think we’re dressed okay? This building looks pretty fancy.”)</p><p>(“We’re detectives, Naruto, and they’ll expect us to be dressed like detectives. Stop fidgeting!”).</p><p>He doesn’t miss Sakura covertly picking a speck of lint off her burgundy sweater and straightening her sleeves in the elevator’s mirrored interior, but he decides not to tease her about it for fear of more damning retaliation. Her gently disheveled yet polished bob (one of the many talents his two best friends refuse to share with him), dark ankle-length slacks and modest heels would fit in pretty much anywhere, anyway.</p><p>He’s willing to admit, if only to himself in his own mind, that he <em>maybe</em> should have listened when the teme had last told him to wear less colorful (“less fluorescent”) clothing to work. Then again, Sasuke wears a leather jacket to work on a regular basis, so Naruto’s mind can also argue that <em>he</em> shouldn’t have been trying to give lectures on sacrificing style for practicality in the first place.</p><p>Still, he feels awkward and not at all fresh to death when the elevator finally pings and its doors open. What if Obito refuses to see them, or what if his assistant just turns them away before he even receives their request? They obviously have their badges, but are active military police even looked at with any special regard at these bureaus? Or… actually, do all of the employees here outrank him? Should they have made an appointment? Was that a thing? Oh no, <em>what if they called Kakashi-sensei for corroboration</em>?</p><p>Sakura elbows him significantly harder than necessary and tells him to “stop muttering to yourself, idiot. Just leave it to me.”</p><p>It turns out that Sakura doesn’t need to do much of anything either, however, because the orange-haired, heavily pierced security guard doesn’t look at them at all before pointing them towards the opposite end of the floor. The office workers they pass on their way are dressed smartly, as he’d suspected, but they smile and nod comfortably in greeting. The entire floor actually seems to have a surprisingly relaxed atmosphere and is much louder than he would have expected it to be, considering.</p><p>“It makes sense, you know,” Sakura explains, peeking curiously some colorful plants on display through the glass doors of a meeting room, “collaborative policing is supposed to be all about accessibility. This <em>should</em> be an inviting place.”</p><p>It is. It’s the kind of environment that he’d usually fit right into, but Naruto still doesn’t feel quite like himself, and this is why he takes the time to stop dead in his tracks when he hears a graciously familiar laugh.</p><p>Clutching at Sakura’s elbow, he nods his head towards a woman facing away from them, sheathed in a neat purple dress.</p><p>“Wait, Sakura-chan! Isn’t that…”</p><p>The woman, still laughing sweetly with an assistant who’s sitting in front of the largest office they’ve seen so far, turns at the sound of his voice. She’s tall and elegant with soft, beautiful features and warm, dark brown eyes and hair. Naruto has always thought that the feminine mole just under her right eye only made her prettier, and in that moment, she looks like the Goddess of Mercy herself.</p><p>He feels Sakura freeze next to him. “Oh! Izumi-nee-san!”</p><p>Izumi-nee’s beatific face fills with excitement, and she all but runs to close the distance between them.</p><p>“Sakura-chan! And Naruto-kun, is that really you? You’ve gotten even taller! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you to Collaborative Policing? Oh, did Sasuke-kun mention our new animal-assisted youth rehabilitation initiative in one of your briefings already? We’re still only in the process of workshopping the pilot program,” she sighs despairingly, “but it’s important that these initiatives are vetted properly to ensure that all vulnerable parties are sufficiently safeguarded, wouldn’t you agree? I wouldn’t fault Sasuke-kun for mentioning it a bit early, though. He was so interested when I first brought up the biophilia hypothesis to him! He‘s really such a gentle soul, just like his brother.”</p><p>Her bright smile radiates affection, and Naruto hasn’t the slightest idea what she’s talking about, but he feels pleasantly warm all the same. He’s always found her inspired rambling to be an enjoyable companion to mild-mannered Itachi-nii’s quiet, if astonishing, intellect, and both seem to share the ability to instantly put his soul at ease.</p><p>Maybe that’s just what having older siblings is supposed to feel like, though. Sasuke says that Itachi makes him feel the same way.</p><p>“I think he actually did mention that initiative!” Sakura, who is apparently not on his wavelength, taps her chin thoughtfully. “Right, it was last week! Taichō was completely interested!”</p><p>“Of course!” Izumi clasps her hands in delight, “He and Obito-sempai rehabilitate rescue dogs! I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me to ask them directly about collaborating sooner! I just know that at least one of our analysts has probably already come up with a proposal that centers around their work, though, so I’ll be sure to bring it up during our next departmental meeting. Thank you so much for reminding me!”</p><p>Sakura giggles, blushing, “oh, no, it’s no problem-?”</p><p>She’s interrupted as Izumi grabs each of their hands and gazes at them intently. “It’s so nice to see the both of you, even like this. It’s been too long. I know that you’ve been incredibly busy with your apprenticeship Sakura-chan, but we miss having you around. You too, Naruto-kun, I know that you and Sasuke-kun are always working, but you’re welcome to come over at any time. You’re both family. I know Mikoto-kaa-san says it every time she sees you, but I’ve been wanting to say it too, and Itachi-kun misses you more than even I can express.”</p><p>She squeezes their hands once before smiling knowingly, “now, what was it that you’re here about? Maybe I can help! I used to work here, you know?”</p><p>Naruto does know, and he’d been <em>hoping</em> that she’d be able to help, but... she’s just said too many nice things. He wills away the sudden stinging in his eyes, gives her his brightest smile in silent gratitude, and hopes that Sakura, at least, can still speak.</p><p>Sakura seems to understand. “Actually, Izumi-nee-san, we’re here to speak to Obito-sama about Kakashi-taichō. He’s seemed a little unwell recently, and we were hoping that speaking to Obito-sama might help us understand what we can do to help.”</p><p>Naruto sniffs, but can't pass the opportunity to add, “they do raise dogs together, after all.”</p><p>His friend sighs next to him.</p><p>“Oh, that’s very sweet! You’re all quite close to your taichō, aren’t you? Sasuke-kun, too. I think it’s just wonderful that you care so deeply, it’s a clear sign that he cares about you as well. I hope that we’re able to live in a world where all responsible adults nurture the young people in their lives with so much care one day. He was once Itachi-kun’s taichō as well, did you know? When they were in ANBU together, I mean. It’s difficult in ANBU, but Itachi-kun only ever speaks fondly of him, so I know that he’s a genuinely good man.” A curious expression passes over her face, just briefly, before she smiles again. “Anyway, you’ve come at the perfect moment! I’ve only just finished meeting with Obito-sempai, and he’s currently taking a small tea break. I’m sure that he wouldn’t mind seeing you at the same time, though, since you’re here on a personal matter. Right, Konan-san?”</p><p>Obito’s purple haired assistant gazes at them from under heavy lashes for a moment before simply saying “alright” and looking back down at the selection of rather intricate origami paper in front of her.</p><p>(The security in this bureau is really not at all what he'd expected.)</p><p>Izumi-nee seems unbothered, however, and turns towards the elevator with a flourish. “Well, I really have to get back to Social Services now, but I hope everything goes well! I’d better see you two soon! Give my love to Sasuke-kun!” And after pinning them with a stare eerily reminiscent of Itachi-nii, undoubtedly a silent threat to visit soon or else, she flutters away.</p><p>The silence that settles in her wake is broken by only the sharp sounds of Konan’s precise folding for a few moments before he has to ask, “uh, Sakura-chan?”</p><p>“Yeah?” Sakura has a dazed hand on one pink cheek.</p><p>“…Teme's definitely lying about not being able to stand Izumi-nee-san at all, right?”</p><p>“Oh, <em>definitely</em>. Sasuke-kun loves her almost as much as he loves Itachi-nii-san. Or, well, maybe as much as he loves Shisui-san. Those two have been together for so long that she’s just family to him now. It’s kind of cute how he denies it all the time, though.”</p><p><em>Heh. That tsundere</em>.</p><p>Sakura turns to him then, eyes full of mischief. Her lead face.</p><p>“Ready?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Obito is obviously not ready for them, which is unsurprising given that his assistant hadn’t looked up from her origami as they rounded her desk, but he still waves at them to sit and sets his freshly peeled tangerine down with a friendly smile.</p><p>A professionally friendly smile.</p><p>“Naruto-kun! Sakura-chan! I wasn’t expecting you. What brings you to Collaborative Policing? How can I help? Is everything alright at the 7<sup>th</sup>?</p><p>Naruto stares at the familiar pile of stringy tangerine pith next to Obito’s steaming cup of tea and then glances back at the unnaturally orange tangerine by his scarred hand. He and Kakashi-sensei even peeled citrus in the same weird way.</p><p><em>Definitely boyfriends</em>.</p><p>“Actually, Deputy Commissioner-sama-“</p><p>“Please, Sakura-chan, I’ve told you before to just call me Obito. I’m not really comfortable with such formality. Can I get you something to eat or drink?”</p><p>“Oh no, please don’t trouble yourself-”</p><p>Naruto’s stomach, naturally, chooses this moment to protest loudly about the fact that he’d forgotten to eat breakfast amidst the morning’s excitement. His ears warm, further betraying him.</p><p>Obito smiles more genuinely and slides half of his weirdly peeled tangerine across the table. He accepts it with a mumbled thanks, like a <em>schoolboy</em>, but feels himself relax at the familiar gesture. Sakura often jokes that sharing food is one of his love languages. He can sense her grinning next to him now, in fact, and busies himself with looking around the office as he chews on the deliciously tart segments of citrus.</p><p>The room is filled with natural light, healthy plants and photographs of, mostly, dogs. The few photographs of human beings feature either Kakashi, Rin, an elderly woman who looks like an Uchiha, a couple other younger Uchihas, Naruto’s own parents, or some combination of them all.</p><p>(Kakashi-sensei is wearing a mask in every single one, and how is that even possible? Was he born with some sort of disfigurement?)</p><p>His favorite picture of his mother and Mikoto-kaa-san from when they were partnered detectives sits on the wall right behind the unscarred side of Obito’s head, in a way that makes Naruto feel like all three are looking at him together. It’s a little soothing. Mikoto-kaa-san had given Naruto his own copy of the photograph as a gift when he’d been accepted into the Academy, and she looks as coolly beautiful in it as ever next to his own grinning, radiant mother.</p><p>Sakura takes a long sip of the tea she’s been coerced into accepting before beginning again. “Thank you, Obito-san. We don’t mean to worry you, but the truth is that Naruto and I are here about Kakashi-sensei.”</p><p>Obito’s brow furrows in immediate concern anyway. “Kakashi? Why, did something happen? Is he alright?”</p><p>“Well,” Sakura catches Naruto's eye, and he nods, “the problem is actually that we don’t know. Kakashi-sensei has been behaving oddly since Tuesday morning. Nothing really abnormal in terms of, uh, regular human behavior, but definitely out of character for the Taichō that we know. He’s been coming in early, does paperwork all day and hasn’t been… reading for leisure. He’s honestly barely been out of his office at all since then.”</p><p>“Ha! That is odd, actually.” Obito crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, frowning at his ceiling, “I <em>have</em> noticed that he’s been staying later at work... Tuesday, huh? Wasn’t that when his office copies of <em>Icha Icha</em> were irreparably damaged by one of Naruto-kun’s pranks?”</p><p>Sakura chokes on her tea, and Naruto takes advantage of the diversion she creates by thumping her on the back in a particularly unhelpful manner before speaking for the first time, “his behavior had already changed before that very small incident, and we were wondering if you could help us figure out why. Did anything significant happen at home before work on Tuesday, or maybe the night before?”</p><p>If Obito feels that their line of questioning is inappropriate, which is something that Sakura had warned him to prepare thoroughly for, it doesn’t show.</p><p>Naruto’s plan had just been to wing it, so he’s very glad.</p><p>“No, quite the opposite actually. I clearly remember this because our newest rescue, Ūhei, asked for belly rubs for the first time that morning. I even made salt-broiled saury for breakfast, which is Kakashi’s favorite. I think he may have actually been whistling when he left that morning at 5:30, the same time as usual.”</p><p>Still coughing, Sakura kicks his foot, but he would have had to ask anyway, if only to satisfy his own curiously, because “he leaves every day at 5:30? What does Kakashi-sensei <em>do</em> between then and the time he gets to work?”</p><p>Obito smirks, and even extensive scarring on one side of his face is no match for the annoyingly attractive consistency in Uchiha genes. “Officially, he gets lost on the road of life. Unofficially, and don’t tell him I told you this, quite a lot of training. I like my mornings more leisurely these days, so I stick to warming up by walking the dogs, but Kakashi is still as diligent about the active aspects of his work as he is lackadaisical about his paperwork.” He turns contemplative. “You said that he’s been coming into work early. Do you know what time, exactly?”</p><p>Sakura chews her lip as she thinks, “the earliest I’ve seen him in was probably around 7, so about an hour and a half earlier than what would have been considered early, previously. What about you, Naruto?”</p><p>“…Around 6:20, on Tuesday morning,” he admits.</p><p>And he’s prepared to rattle off an excuse about having had to respond to an emergency (the reality is that he’d been woken up by the sound of Sasuke leaving to run to his favorite training field with Kurama and had been too hungry to go back to sleep), but Sakura’s attention is fully focused on Obito, who looks more disturbed by this than he’d been at any point previously.</p><p>“Hm. That’s troubling, because Kakashi usually trains with Gai from six to seven every morning, and he’s been telling me about their daily training sessions in detail every day this week. Tuesday was no exception.”</p><p>Oh<em>... shit.</em></p><p>“Maybe he’s just been training with him at a different time?”</p><p>Obito turns his worried gaze on the remaining half of his tangerine. “No, Gai’s workout schedule is always completely packed, since he teaches too, and he sets that hour aside especially for Kakashi. They’re childhood friends and rivals. He’d have mentioned it if there had been that much of a change. No, Kakashi’s been intentionally lying, to me at least.”</p><p>
  <em>And that’s way worse than some stupid fight.</em>
</p><p>For a moment, Naruto can only focus on how startlingly loud his heartbeat sounds to his own ears.</p><p>Then, he suddenly finds himself standing.</p><p>Both Obito and Sakura look up at him in surprise, and he still isn’t quite sure what he’s doing when his mouth opens and he hears himself saying, “Obito-san, I apologize for bringing this problem to you, but I promise you that we will do our best to – no, we <em>will</em> find out what’s going on. Kakashi-sensei is more than just our Taichō to us, and whatever the issue is, we <em>will</em> help resolve it. Even if he’s doing something that’s… not right. We won’t stop working this case until it’s solved, and when it has been, you’ll be the first to know.”</p><p>It’s a foolish thing to say. Police detectives aren’t supposed to make any promises about solving cases, never mind emotionally driven ones. They’re not even supposed to take on cases that they’re personally close to, and Yamato-gunshō had only given them a single day to work on this anyway. Everything he’s just said, everything he’s currently doing, is almost unbelievably stupid.</p><p>Neither Obito nor Sakura are officially active military police officers, at least currently, but both obviously know this. Obito is a fucking <em>Deputy Commissioner</em>. Even so, Sakura only looks at him with concern, and Obito’s expression is completely unreadable to Naruto’s eyes.</p><p>He steels himself and holds his kind-of idol’s dark gaze anyway.</p><p>After what feels like several minutes, the older man’s face softens. It’s such a minor change that it would have been undetectable to a person who hadn’t already spent two decades learning Uchiha microexpressions, but he has, and relief begins to bloom within him at the sight.</p><p>Obito stands, and after another moment of apparent deliberation, sticks his scarred fist out towards them. This close, it’s clear that the Deputy Commissioner is taller than their sensei. Around Sasuke’s height but broader, with heavier musculature, which he distantly registers as odd for someone permanently out of commission due to extensive, debilitating injuries.</p><p>Obito smiles, then. It’s wry and aching and the most honest expression Naruto’s ever seen from the him. “I’ll hold you to that promise, Detective Uzumaki. Let me know if I can do anything else to help, and good luck out there.”</p><p>He grins and bumps the older man’s fist with his own.</p><p>“Thank you, Deputy Commissioner-sama, I will.”</p><p>Obito holds their hands together for a moment longer, still smiling, but only says “it’s just Obito” before swinging his first towards Sakura, who immediately reciprocates. “Detective Haruno, the same goes to you. Good luck.”</p><p>Sakura’s seafoam gaze is as fierce as he’s ever seen it when she replies, “thank you, Obito-san.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>He braces himself for an extensive lecture about breaking the most basic police protocols, or even just a particularly hard smack on the arm, as they make their way back to Sakura's car.<br/><br/>But after settling into her seat, Sakura only turns her still-fierce gaze on him and asks, “where next?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really love how Izumi is portrayed in the anime. She’s... politely vivacious, and it’s such a lovely compliment to Itachi’s character. She currently works for the city/village as a Social Services Coordinator in this AU because lbr any incarnation of Konoha needs some social workers, and I think it suits her personality.</p><p>Anyway, thank you SO much for reading, and for your kind response to the first chapter! I was overwhelmed! Reviews, kudos etc are always, infinitely appreciated.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Moment with Detectives Uchiha and Hyūga</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An interlude, in which Sasuke and Hinata have a cute professional friendship (but Sasuke is still a badass).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasuke huffs next to her as their target showily glances over his shoulder before sliding, too greasily to be up to anything close to legal, through what would have otherwise been a discreet black door.</p><p>“He’s almost not worth arresting.”</p><p>Sighing, he soothes a finger over his left temple. The helix piercing on his right ear glints in the morning sunlight with his movement, and Hinata finds her eyes darting to his profile out of instinct.</p><p>He’s not her type (Sakura once hypothesized that she was “astoundingly immune to his heart-stopping good looks” due to the number of dark-haired, classically attractive men in her own family), but Hinata can still objectively appreciate the allure in how Sasuke’s refined features contrast with his more rebellious sartorial choices. While he technically looks almost exactly like his mother, who is renowned for having the beauty of a classical portrait come to life, his own attractiveness seems to contain an edge of danger. A slight wildness.</p><p>This is something that many Uchiha men share, based on those she’s seen at least, and she admires that they regularly style themselves to embrace it. It tends to suit their personalities, and they’re so curiously different from the Hyūga in this way. Even Itachi-san, who is an innately genteel soul if she’s ever met one, religiously paint his nails purple.</p><p>It makes her think of her own soft, rounded features and deeply entrenched habit of dressing professionally. She knows that her neutral suits and modest sweaters, though always flatteringly cut, help her blend in. That’s part of why she favors them, and they’re functional for her as a non-uniformed detective, but she sometimes wonders if she should try to stand out more, if there are even more advantages to being noticed. In her new field, especially, there are doubtless benefits to <em>looking</em> intimidating– but even if she tried to dress the part, would she really be able to pull it off? After all, Sasuke looks dangerous because he can be, and is intimidating from the inside out. Sakura too, pixie-like natural beauty notwithstanding, still manages to convey the threat of her innate sharpness and strength through her appearance. It’s part of what makes the two of them such a striking couple.</p><p>But then she thinks of Naruto, who while sharing a little of Sasuke’s roguish wildness and Sakura’s fearsome strength, is different. From his natural coloring to his cheerfully bright attire, he radiates the most comfortable sort of warmth, and Hinata knows that she’s not the only one who feels rejuvenated by just looking at him. He’s like a ray of sunlight come to life, and maybe it’s okay if she’s just wholly soft and quiet… like moonlight.</p><p>Her cheeks warm at her mind’s own comparison.</p><p>(He’s still very noticeable, anyway, and the moon isn’t as shy as Hinata’s gotten used to being.)</p><p>She turns her head more completely towards her partner in an effort to try and distract herself from the embarrassing turn in her thoughts. “Do you think we should go in immediately after the distributor arrives, or should we wait for a period?”</p><p>Sasuke, though reclined in way that is reminiscent of their Taichō, remains facing forward as he answers, vigilantly keeping the visible exits and entrances of the building in sight through his relaxed position.</p><p>She guesses that the bored expression on his handsome face is probably more genuine than not, however.</p><p>“The information from our CI team states that the distributor usually arrives 25-50 minutes after our man. They believe that he’ll arrive today in exactly,” he glances at the dashboard for the span of a single blink, “twenty-eight minutes. We should enter the building three to five minutes after they have, so that they’ll have just started to relax, and to ensure that all of the distributor’s people are fully inside. It’s clear that this distributor knows that our suspect is a weak link. He leaves a large and mostly unpredictable gap between their arrivals because he’s aware that he's more likely to be watched than not. They chose this meeting spot because they know that they’ll be able to move around it unnoticed.”</p><p>Hinata’s frowns, “so they purposefully use buildings that we can’t preemptively enter or move fully around without a warrant, which we wouldn’t have time to get, or reasonable belief in serious criminal activity occurring in real time. They know that we want to wait until the meeting is underway so that we can apprehend the maximum number of suspects, but they also know that there’s pressure on us with regards to this new drug, and that many in the KGPD would prefer that we finish every operation with at least one suspect in our custody.”</p><p>“Exactly,” his voice is only the slightest bit approving, but Hinata still feels proud. “We’ve been given a choice. We know that one confirmed suspect is inside right now and will be waiting for a maximum of forty minutes. We can go in now and leave with that one suspect, who probably won’t be able to give us any new leads, or we can go all in with our intel and risk the possibility of the meeting having already ended.”</p><p>Hinata hums and patiently waits for him to continue. Dramatic pauses are more Taichō’s style, so when he doesn’t, she wonders if he’s stopped because he’s seen something. She strains her eyes, but nothing appears to have changed.</p><p>“Well, what do you think?”</p><p>“O-Oh! Me?”</p><p>Sasuke raises a dark eyebrow. “Obviously you, we’re partners. Plus, our intel came from your old CI team, so you would know better than most.”</p><p>She only has to think of Kiba and Shino for a second and doesn’t hesitate for more than that to respond, “I would trust them with my life.”</p><p>Sasuke grins in a dangerous way that’s not really a grin at all. “Good, I was hoping you’d say that. It’s a lot more interesting this way.”</p><p>And then she stares with wide, astonished eyes as he immediately clicks their police radio on and says, “Gunshō, have your people on standby to enter the building in exactly 30 minutes.”</p><p>Neji’s familiar voice sounds back only a few seconds later, “roger, Detective. Copy.”</p><p>Sasuke places the radio back out of sight with an irreverent “hn,” and Hinata resists putting flustered hands on her ever-warming cheeks. A voice in her head that sounds a little like Sakura reminds her that this is her job, and that her colleagues <em>should</em> be taking her professional opinion so seriously. Even if one of those colleagues is her Neji-nii-san.</p><p>But still…</p><p>She glances back at her partner and finds him properly slouching in his seat now, apparently not even a little worried. He doesn’t look at her or say anything at all, but it works to set her mind at ease.</p><p>Besides, they have about half an hour to kill, and there's something she's been curious about since they started working together three months ago. He seems to be in a relatively good mood, and so she decides to take the chance to ask.</p><p>“Are you thinking about taking the promotion exam soon, Sasuke-kun?</p><p>He and Neji had similar reputations at the Academy, so she’d always assumed that he would ascend the ranks at the same rate as her cousin. Maybe even more quickly, since his father is the Chief of Police. She knows that he would do well on the exam, that he would be good at the role, and she’s been surprised to hear nothing at all about it from him or their colleagues (<em>friends</em>) since joining the 7th.</p><p>“Not really. I’m more interested in enjoying and being challenged by the work I’m doing and the people I’m working with than I am in what title that work falls under.”</p><p>For a moment, she wonders if this is a slight towards her cousin, who works with uniformed officers on the first floor of their precinct… but something about his tone sparks memories of rumors she’s heard about his brother being promoted straight to lieutenant out of the Academy, and about him being the youngest KGPD officer ever recruited into ANBU.</p><p>She never seen the absence of stress and exhaustion on Itachi-san’s face.</p><p>Still, she knows what it’s like to be the second most talented child in a powerful family, and she’s genuinely happy to learn that Sasuke isn’t chasing after approval or acknowledgment. She’d only recently been swayed from that sort of a desperate existence by Naruto, herself, and something tells her that Naruto’s influence is what helped save Sasuke from it too.</p><p>This is what prompts her to share, “I think I know what you mean, I rescinded the title of heiress for this job.”</p><p>“I’d heard.”</p><p>She blinks in surprise, “really?” She hasn’t told anyone outside of her clan or her old team yet.</p><p>“From my mother,” he clarifies.</p><p>Oh, right! “Mikoto-san was a detective as well, before she become clan head, wasn’t she? Does the Uchiha clan also stipulate that clan heads aren’t allowed to work in positions which put their lives in immediate danger?”</p><p>“She was, and we do. That’s part of the reason why Uchiha leadership is traditionally matriarchal.” Then, after a pause, he adds, “she was on maternity leave when her partner passed away, and she decided against returning to the job without her. She’s told me that it wasn’t a difficult decision.”</p><p>It’s more than she would have expected him to say, but he doesn’t look any less relaxed than before, so she allows herself a moment to ponder over his words.</p><p>Hinata is aware that Uchiha Mikoto took full custody of Naruto, who was only an infant when his parents were assassinated, for the first few months of his life. She’s heard Hyūga elders speaking (rather shamefully) about how the young matriarch of the Uchiha clan had insisted on doing so, because she was still nursing her second child anyway, and because Uzumaki Kushina had been her dearest friend. Hinata had forgotten that they’d worked together as detectives too, but it makes sense. Both Naruto and Sasuke are frequently compared to their mothers in one way or another.</p><p>Her understanding is that Mikoto-san was only finally convinced to transfer Naruto’s custody to the village after he’d been weaned, and even then, only at the insistence of the Third Commissioner himself. Naruto was informally adopted by the Third shortly after that, which many in the Hyūga speculate to have been one of Mikoto's stipulations, but it’s clear that she never stopped doing her part to help raise him. Hinata has often thought about how difficult it must have been for her at the time, to deal with so much political pressure while taking care of two babies, all on top of the grief that she must have felt at the loss of her best friend. It couldn't have been easy on baby Naruto either, and she’s never really understood why the village had to make everything so much harder for them both.</p><p>But maybe that’s why Hinata’s own father always found her to be a subpar heiress, when she was one.</p><p>Mikoto had borne it all with grace, regardless, because she’d believed that it was the right thing to do. She’d seen it as an easy decision because it was the only honorable one to her.</p><p>“I’ve always admired your mother. She’s a good leader.”</p><p>Sasuke’s lip quirks, and there’s rare, genuine warmth in his voice when he says, “she is, she’s done well to keep the clan out of trouble over the years. Although,” he smirks, sliding her a knowing look from the corner of eye, “not everyone in Konoha feels that way.”</p><p>Hinata can only laugh, if a little awkwardly, because he’s unfortunately right.</p><p>“My title was passed down to my little sister, Hanabi, and I think she’ll be amazing in the role. Better than I would have been, definitely. She’s still young, but she’s bright and kind and strong. She’s already come to me with so many interesting ideas for the future. I have high hopes that the Hyūga clan will see progress under her leadership.”</p><p>“You don’t have to be heiress to effect change within your clan.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>He shrugs in his usual nonchalant way, “you like Naruto and followed him into this career because you were inspired by his belief in doing the right thing and never giving up, right? That means you have those qualities too.”</p><p>...Eh?</p><p>“E-Eh?” Her mind short circuits as she gapes at him, feeling her entire face warming to a dangerous degree. Experience tells her that she’s probably nearly florescent with the heat it’s emanating, but Sasuke continues speaking with his normal impassiveness, completely unconcerned about the possibility of having to continue their stakeout with an unconscious partner.</p><p>“Uchiha leadership may traditionally be less reticent than the Hyūga, but my mother was still raised to have the manners of an heiress. She was inspired to act more boldly, in the way that she’d always secretly wished to, through the influence of a bold friend.”</p><p>It’s no secret that Naruto takes after his mother’s personality.</p><p>And Hinata still feels a bit light-headed, but she manages a smile, because it’s actually one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to her. He didn’t even tease her about her... <em>feelings</em>, as she’d feared he might, given his usual propensity for dry humor.</p><p>He really is a good friend. She can understand why Naruto is so devoted to their bond.</p><p>“Thank you, Sasuke-kun.”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“I-”</p><p>“But if you tell anyone that we had this conversation, you <em>will</em> live to regret it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A lil something before we get back into the main story :) Regular chapter updates should still be weekly at the very latest.</p><p>Modern-ish AU Sasuke with a helix piercing is self-fanservice. Can you just imagine how the simplicity would highlight the angles of his pretty face? And as you'll have noticed, I decided to tweak Uchiha clan politics a bit, because (even without the canon’s magical realism) I felt like there needed to be a little more background re why the massacre didn’t occur in this universe. I've also been going back and forth with spacing, in terms of literal structure, and I've edited the last chapter to match this one a little better. If you were at all bothered by the last chapter for that reason (I was, on subsequent readings), you might find it a bit easier to read now. My style is still definitely in the process of wrangling itself into order, which is annoying (!), but I’m trying not to over edit either.</p><p>Anyway, thank you so much for reading again! Reviews, feedback, kudos etc are always, always appreciated.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Dads Fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A new lead appears.</p>
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    <p>Reality has sunk in somewhat by the time they return to the precinct, but Naruto’s internal downward spiral stalls at the sight of Sasuke leaning outside of the building, phone and half a cigarette in hand.</p><p>His finds himself grinning in spite of the death stick, and his own ever impending doom.</p><p>“Oi Teme! What are you doing down here, were you waiting for us? And why the hell are you stress smoking again? Did you miss us that much?”  </p><p>Sasuke doesn’t look up or add any inflection outside of mild annoyance to his voice as he responds with, “I wasn’t waiting for you,” but one corner of his mouth quirks as Sakura slides her arm around his elbow, pulling him slightly into her side.</p><p>He's apparently not the only one feeling comforted by Sasuke’s unexpected presence.</p><p>“Yeah, Naruto, he wasn’t waiting for <em>you</em>.” Sakura smiles impishly at him and then turns a considerably sharper look up at her boyfriend, sniffing, “but answer the question, Sasuke-kun, why <em>are</em> you stress smoking again?” </p><p>Their friend sighs and pointedly holds the (no longer lit, Naruto realizes) cigarette up for her inspection before tossing it into a nearby ashtray and drawing Sakura's hand into the pocket of his leather jacket in one unfairly fluid, effortless movement.</p><p>Sakura turns red, stuttering, and Naruto just feels annoyed, because the bastard does actually look stupidly cool sometimes. Not that he would never admit it out loud.</p><p>Not in a million years. Not even if it would<em> save his life</em>.</p><p>“Relax, you two. It was only for the mission.”</p><p>Naruto’s frowns, confused. “For your stakeout?”</p><p>“Oh,” Sakura blinks in concern and asks, “did that not go well?”</p><p>“No, that actually went exactly as we’d hoped. We were able to arrest all six men who were meeting there for distribution. Five are currently in our holding cell, and the other is being interrogated by Hinata as we speak.”</p><p>“What?” Naruto squawks at this and points an accusatory finger, “you left sweet little Hinata-chan in the interrogation room with some murderous drug dealer? She’s only three months into this job ‘ttebayo!”</p><p>Sasuke and Sakura respond with almost identical disapproving frowns and, standing in front of them and their casually intertwined arms, he feels vaguely like he’s being scolded by Hinata’s parents.</p><p>Or his own, he wouldn’t know.</p><p>His shoulders slump in preemptive defeat.</p><p>Sasuke’s voice is dry but not unkind as he elaborates, “he’s only a low-level dealer, usuratonkachi, and you know better than that. Hinata is a competent detective. The suspect she’s with is basically a kid, so she’s better suited to interrogating him properly than I am anyway. He would have given us his own approximation of the most valuable information upfront, to try and end the session as quickly as possible, if I’d stayed.”</p><p>Sakura grins proudly at this, “she’s wonderfully empathetic, isn’t she? And such a good listener. I bet the fact that she was a CI before this helps too. But Naruto,” she fixes her gaze on his own, serious once again, “I know you were only worried because you care about her, but you should be more careful about saying stuff like that. Hinata-chan holds your opinion in high regard-</p><p>“For some reason,” Sasuke smirks.</p><p>“-and hearing you say something like that could really impact her confidence, especially as she’s only just started working here,” Sakura finishes, nudging Sasuke with a strong elbow. Sasuke doesn’t react in the slightest, and Naruto allows himself the time to make note of the interaction in his mental list of evidence supporting his secret hypothesis that Sasuke actually enjoys being pushed around before he sighs, feeling heavier than he has in while.</p><p>“You’re right, Sakura-chan, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of those things. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now, but I know that Hinata-chan is an excellent detective. I feel partially responsible for her being here, and I just worry sometimes, about her getting hurt. Because of me.”</p><p>“She’s here because she wants to be, baka, don’t take that away from her.”</p><p>“And dobe, you like her. It’s natural to feel that way. It’s why we don’t work on cases we’re personally close to.”</p><p>This doesn’t make him feel any better.</p><p>Sakura titters awkwardly. “Right? <em>Ha</em> <em>ha</em>. So um, anyway, Sasuke-kun, were you referring to our mission then? With the smoking?”</p><p>Sasuke looks suspiciously at his girlfriend but responds without further comment, “I was.”</p><p>Naruto and Sakura share a worried look, “but Kakashi-sensei hasn’t stress smoked in <em>years</em>. When was the last time? At the Academy?”</p><p>“After Asuma’s funeral,” Sasuke confirms. “I know because he shared my cigarette. We used to smoke the same brand, it’s how I realized what he was doing on the roof earlier. He was being careful about it, but I recognized the smell.”</p><p>So he was hiding, and not just because smoking required taking off his mask<em>.</em></p><p>“He was definitely hiding.” Sasuke reads Naruto’s thoughts as effortlessly as always. “That was corroborated when I asked Tajima if I could borrow the cigarette I was just holding. He complained about Kakashi blackmailing him out of half his stash earlier by threatening to tell on him to Gai. He’s one of the only other people in the precinct who smokes the exact type of cigarettes that Kakashi likes. It's an old Uchiha thing.”</p><p>He frowns as the uneasy feeling from before starts swirling behind his navel again. “Gai-sensei, huh?”</p><p>Sasuke shrugs. “The Chūjō is obsessive about health and honesty, apparently.”</p><p>“How ironic.” He only means to mutter the words to himself, but Sasuke’s hearing is weirdly excellent for someone who used to blast punk rock through headphones as a teen (not that Naruto was any better), and he raises a well-shaped eyebrow in intrigue.</p><p>They’re interrupted by Sakura, who has evidently focused on an entirely different part of his story.</p><p>“So,” she begins in an unnaturally cheerful voice, sweet and frightening enough to rival Yamato-gunshō's face, “did you borrow the cigarette so you could smoke together with Kakashi-sensei?”</p><p>Naruto doesn’t miss the way Sasuke instinctively straightens his posture, giving himself away, before catching his own tell and sighing in acquiescence. The whipped bastard never tries to argue when Sakura’s truly angry.</p><p>“I did, initially. I thought it might be easier to get him to talk if I did, but once I realized that he’d gone to the extent of blackmail to get the cigarettes, I figured that it might just cause more problems if I suddenly went out there with him and started asking personal questions. I didn’t want to let him to know that we're investigating this, at least not before we have more information, either. I needed a reason to speak with you away from the precinct, and I figured that you were due back soon, so I decided to use the cigarette as a cover while I waited for you.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“And… I was a little curious about whether I would enjoy it as much as I used to.”</p><p>Sakura gives him a look unimpressed enough to rival one of his own, “and?”</p><p>“And it tasted worse than I remember.”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“…But I still kind of enjoyed it.”</p><p>She smacks him on the chest with her free hand, albeit more gently than she’d have done to anyone else. “Yes, because that’s how psychological dependence works, you beautiful idiot! Keep it up and you’ll ruin your flawless skin, and then I'll be forced to leave you for someone prettier! I happen to like you, so don’t do it again.”</p><p>Sasuke rolls his eyes but apologizes with quiet sincerity.</p><p>They all know that Sakura is joking, because she’s probably loved Sasuke across lifetimes and would likely continue to do so even if they were both reincarnated as slimy worms in the next life, but Naruto still takes the opportunity to snicker at his best friend’s expense. The dark-haired man can handle it, and besides, he’s never seen a guy prettier than Sasuke. Unless he counted Haku, maybe, but he’d been pretty in the way that girls were pretty. Sasuke is still manly despite kind of looking like Mikoto-kaa-san’s clone, and Mikoto-kaa-san is <em>beautiful</em>. The teme would probably even be the handsomest worm in his worm class and worm family.</p><p>Naruto shudders at the image that pops into his head.</p><p>And anyway, Sasuke had chosen to quit entirely on his own. He’d disliked what smoking did to his physical condition more than he liked the fleeting stress relief, and Naruto suspects that it’d only felt good today because he’s as worried about Kakashi-sensei as they are.</p><p>Speaking of which, “I’m even more concerned now,” he sighs, “what we found at Collaborative Policing was worse than whatever we’d guessed.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>Sasuke listens to their retelling with his typical impassiveness, aside from an obligatory eye-twitch when they pass on Izumi-nee-san’s love at least, and he remains silent for a moment after they finish, clearly considering.</p><p>“You’re weirdly invested in this, usuratonkachi.”</p><p>Sakura shoots Sasuke an odd look, but Sasuke’s dark gaze on him stays curious and steady.</p><p>Naruto scoffs, “teme, stop pretending that you don’t have feelings, we all know that you care for Kakashi-sensei as much as we do. It’s completely normal that we’d all care.”</p><p>“It is,” Sasuke agrees easily, “but I wasn’t just talking about Kakashi’s wellbeing.”</p><p>The unease that’s now fully settled behind his navel begins churning once again.</p><p>“You’re invested in Kakashi and Obito’s relationship. What’s upsetting you the most is the idea that something irreparable may have happened between them, and that you’re the one who uncovered it. You feel personally responsible.”</p><p>Reactionary anger rises within him, but he wills it away with his breath because he <em>knows</em> that Sasuke isn’t being cruel. He never really is, unfiltered honesty is just how he shows his regard for others. Naruto's usually the same way.</p><p>“Uncovering something doesn’t make you responsible for its existence, whatever it is, dobe. You’ve only been trying to help them because you care. But, people can change. People grow, and relationships can change too. Sometimes people just go through rough patches together while they learn to readjust to one another, and sometimes they can’t readjust at all.”</p><p>“But that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Sakura adds quickly, “and it doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault either. It certainly wouldn’t be yours. It’s just a part of life, sometimes.”</p><p>Both of their expressions are earnest, in their own respective ways, but Naruto can barely think over the sound of his heartbeat blasting in his ears again. His voice sounds like it’s coming from far away when he asks, “do you really think that’s what happened?”</p><p>“No.” Sasuke is as confident as ever, and Naruto feels his insides settle, just a little. “It’s possible, and you shouldn’t rule it out, but I don’t. I don’t think that Kakashi would deal with something like that in this way. Something else probably happened, and you should keep investigating for as long as it’s safe to do so. After all,” he smirks, “you did make a promise, usurakatonkachi.”</p><p>“I did,” he sighs, “we need to speak to Gai-sensei next, Sakura-chan.”</p><p>Sakura smiles, “obviously, baka, that’s why we came back.”</p><p>“Then you’re in luck,” Sasuke’s smirk softens the tiniest bit, his own version of a smile. “Neji’s upstairs with us to help supervise the interviews, so Gai should still be on his floor.” A buzz sounds from Sasuke's jacket suddenly, and he frowns when he checks his phone with the hand not covertly holding Sakura’s.</p><p>“I’m needed back at the interrogation room too, but Naruto,” he gaze turns sharp, “people fight, sometimes seriously. Even the people you admire, and even when they still care about each other.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>“Hey, Sakura-chan?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>He eyes dance shiftily around the room. They’re effectively alone, occupying the empty desks of patrolling uniformed officers while waiting for Gai-sensei to end a meeting about “channeling the passion of youth into your patrol walk” with the poor souls who'd been left behind on desk duty, but you could never be too careful about eavesdropping at the 7<sup>th</sup>. “Do you think that Kakashi-sensei is… having an affair… with bushy brows-sensei?”</p><p>“What?” Sakura’s whisper is almost offended. “Again, you can’t just keep assuming that Kakashi-taichō is gay and also- why would he do that all of a sudden? All three of them have known known each other since they were children, and no offense to Gai-chūjō, but if Kakashi-sensei and Obito-san were- you know- why would he choose to cheat with <em>Gai-chūjō </em>of all people? I mean, sure, Gai-chūjō may be kind and have a famously nice physique, but you saw Obito-san.”</p><p>“Sakura-chan! Sorry- I’m whispering! But you really do have a weakness for handsome men, don't you? And were you checking him out? I’m telling Teme!”</p><p>Sakura’s face turns a new shade of red, mostly likely out of anger, and her voice is even louder than his when she responds, “shut up idiot! I was not! That would be totally weird, like checking Kakashi-sensei out or something. I mean, objectively, they’re very attractive, sure, but they’re like our <em>dads</em>. I feel sick just thinking about it. Ew.”</p><p>“Our <em>dads</em>, huh?” His expression is as sly as his tone is, and a flustered Sakura rapidly waves her hands in front of her face, having realized her mistake. “So, you admit that I’m right? They’re <em>totally</em> bone-mpfh!”</p><p>“Say that word out loud and I’ll <em>make sure</em> that you don’t remember this conversation, one way or another.”</p><p>And because she’s scary, pink hair and all, he just makes a loud noise of agreement under the absurdly strong pressure of her hand over his mouth. He has to repeat it three times in a row before she finally lets go, and they sit in relieved silence for the next couple minutes, until they’re joined by yet another familiarly loud voice.</p><p>“SAKURA-SAN! AND NARUTO-KUN! It has been too long since our floor was graced by the pleasure of your spring-like presence! You have only grown more youthful!” Officer Rock Lee runs towards them… on his hands. His hair and eyes are as round as ever, and his eyebrows are maybe even more bushy. He also still seems to be wearing his signature green spandex leotard under his police uniform, for some reason.</p><p>He’s as sweet as he is weird though, and they both smile genuinely at him in greeting. “Bushy-brows! Long time no see!”</p><p>“It has been a long time, hasn’t it Lee-kun? I’ve been so busy with my new workload!”</p><p>Lee flips effortlessly onto his feet and displays his usual thousand-watt smile. “Yes, I have heard! Sasuke-kun always assures me that you are doing quite well when he visits our floor, but it is nice to see the two of you in person! I am sorry that it’s due to an apparently serious matter, however. I heard that you wanted to speak to Gai-chūjō directly?”</p><p>They are, thankfully, saved from having to awkwardly piece an excuse together by the lieutenant himself, who still looks as distinctly (disturbingly) striking as he did when they first met and is also still wearing his green leotard under his uniform.</p><p>“LEE! How wonderful of you to receive our guests on my behalf! And two of my eternal rival’s students no less! Looking at the three of you together is enough to bring tears to my eyes!”</p><p>Lee sniffles ominously, and Naruto’s patience has improved over the years, but Kakashi-sensei is… and anyway, he doesn’t think he can handle the sight of two bowl-headed crying men right now.</p><p>“Ah, thanks for taking the time to see us, Gai-chūjō. Would it be possible to continue this conversation in your office?”</p><p>His manners have improved, at least. Somewhat. Sometimes.</p><p>Sakura shifts her weight next to him, undoubtedly showing Gai her own professionally serious face.</p><p>Gai frowns, clearly concerned, but concedes to their request without question.</p><p>“Of course, young Detectives, please follow me.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Maito Gai’s office is, surprisingly, almost as spartan as Kakashi’s. He’s not really sure what he’d expected- maybe a couple mannequins displaying various designs in green spandex, or even some comically large weights. Instead, it seems to be mostly decorated with case files, a few motivational posters, and a single, rather cute, potted cactus sporting a crown of pink flowers.</p><p>There <em>is</em> a row of nunchuku on the wall to their left, though, which is <em>extremely</em> badass. He’d have to remember to ask Bushy Brow-sensei if he could spare some time for lessons after this was all over.</p><p>(They would probably never be practical to use on a mission, but Sasuke spends an extravagant amount of time honing his equally useless kyūjutsu and kenjutsu skills, so it would only be fair for Naruto to have his own cool weapon affinity.)</p><p>“Yosh!” Gai-sensei leans forward in his chair, straight backed, eager, and pretty much opposite to their Kakashi-sensei in every way. “What can I do to help? Are you two okay?”</p><p>“We’re fine, Chūjō,” Sakura reassures him, “we only requested privacy because we’re looking into a personal matter.”</p><p>“We’ve been worried about Kakashi-sensei recently,” Naruto continues, “he’s been acting a little differently since Tuesday, and we want to figure out what we can do to help. We heard that he usually trains with you in the morning from six to seven, but we’ve seen him at work during those hours, so we were wondering if he mentioned anything to you on Tuesday morning, or if anything odd stood out to you too.”</p><p>They’re expecting some suspicion and several questions, but Gai only stares blankly at them for what feels like several minutes before his eyes become unnervingly misty.</p><p>Sakura startles. “Gai-chūjō! Are you alright?”</p><p>The tears start to slip down his face, and he <em>beams</em>.</p><p>“Ah, you two! I am better than I’ve ever been! I’m just so touched that my eternal rival has such beautiful, youthful and caring students! You are both so completely filled with love for your sensei! It is an honor to witness! Kakashi has become so fortunate, and I am just so glad!”  </p><p>They exchange a bemused look over Gai’s bent, weeping head.</p><p>“Uh, Bushy brow-sensei, does that mean that you know what happened to Kakashi-sensei?”</p><p>The lieutenant dabs at his tears and sighs wistfully, obviously still overcome. “I’m afraid that I haven’t had the chance to speak to him very much since he was injured on Tuesday. He’s been unable to attend our training sessions because of it, of course, and we are both so busy. I have been worried as well, it's unusual for him to take lunch in his office so frequently.”</p><p>
  <em>Injured?</em>
</p><p>Sakura has the words out before he can even open his mouth.</p><p>“He was injured on Tuesday morning?” she’s leans forward, now completely alert. “He told you that he was injured? Where?”</p><p>Gai shakes his head. “He didn’t need to. I could immediately see it in his body language when we met on Tuesday morning. He injured the obliques on his right side.”</p><p>Sakura frowns, “and you don’t think it was an old injury acting up?”</p><p>“Oh no. I would have recognized an old injury; we have been training together since we were children after all. No, he didn’t have it when we trained on Monday either, so it was fairly recent. I didn’t pester him about it at the time because I wanted him to go and rest immediately, but perhaps I should have.” He furrows his thick brows, “I understand why you came to me. He does not like talking about his injuries, but you might want to try speaking to Obito-kun too. If anyone else would know the details, it would be him.”</p><p>Naruto catches Sakura's eye, and she gives him a barely perceptible nod.</p><p>“Otherwise,” Gai brightens, “you can always get him a nice get well card and some flowers! He comes across as a mysterious man at times, but I can confirm that he appreciates simple gestures. I gifted him a bouquet as my congratulations when he was promoted to Taichō, and he was very touched.”</p><p>That’s an image he’ll (definitely) have to come back to at another time. But now- </p><p>“Thank you, Gai-sensei!”</p><p>He springs out his chair and manages to leap halfway to the door before Sakura catches him by the back of his collar with a glare, choking him slightly.</p><p>“Geugh!”</p><p>“Yes, thank you very much Gai-chūjō! Your help has truly been invaluable. Which training field was it that you and Kakashi-taichō use again? He’s definitely mentioned it before, but I can’t seem to recall…”</p><p>“Why, training ground thirteen of course! And don’t worry you two, I won’t say anything about this conversation to Kakashi. I know firsthand how hard it can be to genuinely surprise him. Just cheer him up for me, and we’ll call it even.” He winks, still beaming radiantly, and gives them a thumbs-up.</p><p>And Naruto suddenly understands why Lee cries so often. “You’re the best, Bushy Brow-sensei!” This could be it!</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Training Ground 13 is located in the fairly nice suburban district that Kakashi, Obito and presumably Gai live in. It’s near the outskirts of Konoha, and Naruto wouldn’t trade his city apartment for anything, but he can imagine how the area might be better suited to their senior officers’ advanced ages, more substantial paychecks and many dogs.</p><p>The streets between Kakashi and Obito’s house and Training Ground 13 are lined with a charming collection of shops, many of which give off sweet smells as he and Sakura pass by, and it’s very pleasant.</p><p>Even better are the security cameras which decorate each of their quaint entrances.</p><p>“Alright! Should we start at the end and work our way backwards? Maybe interview some of the bakery and café staff? At least some of those places would have been open between five-thirty and six in the morning, right? Do you think the other places keep their cameras on before they open shop for the day?”</p><p>Sakura’s analytical gaze darts from store to store as they meander down the main street. “Do you really even think that Kakashi-taichō would have taken this path? It’s an attractive street, sure, but it looks like this area specializes in sweet goods. The smell is heavenly to me, but Taichō doesn’t care for sweets, and it's probably only worse while food preparation is underway early in the morning. I think he’s more likely to have taken a side street, since the stores there should be more focused on catering to the surrounding residents, rather than travelling shoppers.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah… that does make sense.”</p><p>She sends him reproaching look. “I know you’re raring to go, Naruto, but the first thing we should really do is think about what kind of injury we might be dealing with. We know that it's probably on his torso, but the incident which caused it might not have been something that other people could have easily noticed. I mean, we’ve seen him every day since then, and <em>we</em> didn’t notice that he was injured. It could be entirely internal, and if there is a surface wound, it would probably be under his clothes. I know we already agreed that the injury probably didn't occur at home, since Obito-san would have noticed, but it’s strange. It’s not as if this area is filled with potential hazards. He could have just pulled a muscle, I suppose, but I don't know why he'd keep that from Obito-san.”</p><p>Naruto frowns, tapping his chin as he thinks. “Well… he could have tripped and fallen.”</p><p>Sakura stops walking altogether to pin him with a disbelieving stare.</p><p>“You think <em>Kakashi-sensei</em> has been unable to train all week and is lying to his bo-housemate about it because <em>he had a fall</em>? Like, not even off a building or something, but just… on the street?”</p><p>“It’s the accident that’s generally most likely to occur at the relevant time of day in this environment,” he defends. “It was early, he could have been drowsy and caught off guard. Obito-san said that he was in a good mood when he left their house, so he could have just had his head in the clouds, or his nose in one of his trashy books! Besides, I’ve heard that falling gets more dangerous as you get older.”</p><p>“Older as in when you reach your seventies, you idiot, not your mid-thirties! His bones are still too healthy- and don’t you dare articulate what you’re thinking right now- to have been seriously injured by falling. Besides, he keeps fit and has excellent reflexes. He’s the one who trained <em>our</em> reflexes. He would definitely be able to catch himself and prevent serious injury if he tripped.”</p><p>His eyes widen as a proverbial light bulb suddenly illuminates the insides of his detective brain, “but that would explain <em>everything! </em>Why he’s been so moody and hasn’t told anyone about it- <em>he’s embarrassed!</em> And frustrated!”</p><p>Sakura squints in a way that's eerily reminiscent of their other best friend. “…That he fell?”</p><p>“Yes dattebayo! That his body is aging, and his reflexes are dulling, and that he can’t beat the ever-present adversary that is time or whatever! Men have their pride, you know!”</p><p>Sakura just continues to stare at him, looking truly bewildered, and then bursts into full-bodied laughter.</p><p>“Y-you brat!” She vibrates with giggles for a few more moments before continuing, “I’m going to repeat all of these things to you when we turn thirty-five, just watch.”</p><p>He pouts and waits dutifully for her to finish laughing, like the loyal best friend that <em>he</em> is, so that they can continue.</p><p>Wiping giddy tears, she finally grins up at him with bright sparks of conviction in her eyes, and his excitement at the prospect of finally figuring out what’s going on heightens. </p><p>Because it's not her lead face, but he recognizes it it all the same. Sakura has a plan.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's fun to write Detective Naruto because, much like in the canon, he's both intuitively intelligent and inherently an idiot. </p><p>I wouldn't usually write out "baka" in a fic, but I kind of feel like it's Sakura's affectionate nickname for Naruto as much as "dobe" and "teme" are for Naruto and Sasuke respectfully. I still use "idiot" sometimes, though, just because. As someone who’s closer to Kakashi’s age in this AU than Naruto’s, “brat” also felt very appropriate that one time. Lol. </p><p>Anyway, as always, thank you again for reading! Reviews, kudos etc are more appreciated than I can ever express, I’d love to hear what you think. I'm on twitter (@iramukg), so feel free to interact on there with me if you'd like as well. I hope life’s treating everyone okay ❤️</p>
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